My daughter was recently stopped on the street by a young man that she knew from school. He was incredibly nervous. First asking if she could remember who he was. (“Of course. We sat in the same class in history for two years…”) Then, after struggling for a moment or two, he managed to gather up enough courage to ask what he wanted to ask: “Would you like to go out with me?”
My daughter found the whole thing very sweet and they did indeed go out on a date together. By all accounts, they seemed to have quite a good time together.
First of all, my respect to the young man in question for managing to find the courage to ask my daughter out on a date! It was obviously a real struggle for him. I’m not sure I that would have managed it when I was his age.
Being shy or introverted can make finding a partner quite a challenge. You see an attractive woman and find yourself stumbling over your words. The confidence that you have in a work setting is suddenly gone and you have no idea how to get it back.
But there are things that you can do and practice which will make talking to women that you don’t know, much, much easier. And you won’t need to change your personality to do it!
Being an introvert or shy does not mean that you are not interested in other people. It just means that you are more interested in having a deeper and more meaningful connection with fewer people than an extroverted person is. Typically, it means that you find having a light conversation with new people tiring. An extroverted person will normally find talking to lots of new people energizing.
Clearly, online dating is a great help to introverts and shy people:
- You do not have to go to a lot of parties or bars to meet women
- You don’t have to make small talk with a lot of women … only to find out that they are happily married!
- Every woman on the service you are using is single and looking for a partner – just the same as you are
Of course, at some point, you will need to meet someone. But, it will be at a time and place of your choosing and you will only have one person that you need to talk to. So you can concentrate on that one person.
If you have done your homework right, the woman you are meeting will not just be interested in finding “a partner”. They will be looking to “find you”.